Flawless America...???

OK ! I landed in the Unites States about a year ago and always heard that the system in the US is flawless.

Once you land here, you need to get an I-94 document apart from the VISA which you have. The I-94 is the document which says how long you can stay in the USA. My I-94 said that I can stay until 2011, which is perfectly fine and is inline with my VISA.

The issue is what if the person or the officer who did the data entry had a bad day in office and as a result screwed up my details. YES unfortunately this is what exactly happened and he/she wrongly entered my date as 2009, which meant I was illegal in the US for a couple of weeks with no fault of mine.

How did I get to know of this mis-match….had applied for a Learners Permit to be able to drive. The Permit was given to me for 3 months, upto Oct’2009, but normally it is given for a year. I questioned them the day it was issued, but the Motor Vehicle Authority informed me that the system gave them that date, so they could not help me.

After 3 months when I went to get my permanent license, the system did not allow them to extend the dates beyond Oct’2009.Here comes the trouble…!!! They some how found out that the data which has been entered into the Homeland Security is wrongly entered and to get that fixed I have to contact the USCIS.

Upon investigation at USCIS, they informed me that the data needs to be corrected by the Bureau of Customs and Border Protection (CBP) ...wao i was getting to know a few new terms and offices here.

Went to the CBP and it took 2 weeks for them to get my information corrected in the homeland security data.

In this land of the greats where the system is such organized and perfect, I was able to find a loop hole. May be the american system is perfect but the person who entered the data was not an American…ha-ha.

Oh Yes..now i am able to drive again...!!!

-GAG

Deferred News,Nevertheless

Sanjay Dutt getting married to an already married Manyata Devi.Absolutely brilliant coverage by the media I tell u and the media were going all gaga about it. All happy that Sanju Baba finally tied the knot for the 3rd time (not sure,pls check).But the funny part is that one week later we get news which says that Manyata’s First husband has filed case against her, accusing of her that she hasn’t filed a divorce. Some more interesting facts were that Manyata had got their marriage (with Sanju) registered in Goa, where the law says that if they are to have a divorce in the future, then the wife gets half-share of the husbands property…pretty cool ah…must say quite an intelligent girl.

Some more pretty Interesting news, Madam J (Jayalaitha), turned 60 this month and she visited a temple in Tamil Nadu, which couples visit when either of the husband or Wife turns 60 and then they exchange garland.Media reports suggested that Madam J did exchange garland…guess with whom…? With her near and dear friend sasikala…Daal mein kuch kaal hain….! AIADMK’s rival got this golden opportunity and the rest is……….

Media is all crazy here in India, there are some copy-righted news items which are to be broadcasted once every week. There is one channel that has got loads of interests on the WWF jerk Khali, who despite of his huge dimensions looses all his fights. Then you have one channel trying to prove that Lord Ram existed and he was the engineering mind behind the Sethu Project. Goddam…!!! Now to add some more spice to this news, we have some another channel trying to figure out what route did Hanuman take to get the Sanjivini? I mean its fine to see these kind of articles once in a while, but why to repeat it again and again…? Another guy in the news was O.L.Weed…I salute Bhajji of getting the better of these spoilt brat and successfully getting under the Aussies skin.One advice to Hayden,ours guys wud'nt have understood what that meant....:-)

-GAG

Indian Premier League - Squads

Bangalore Squad

Mark Boucher Wicketkeeper
Age 31 years 79 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm medium

Nathan Bracken
Age 30 years 161 days
Playing role BowlerBatting Right-hand batBowling Left-arm fast-medium

Shivnarine Chanderpaul
Age 33 years 188 days
Playing role BatsmanBatting Left-hand batBowling Legbreak

Rahul Dravid
Age 35 years 40 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm offbreak

Wasim Jaffer
Age 30 years 4 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm offbreak

Jacques Kallis
Age 32 years 127 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm fast-medium

Zaheer Khan
Age 29 years 136 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Left-arm fast-medium

Anil Kumble
Age 37 years 126 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Legbreak googly

Dale Steyn
Age 24 years 238 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm fast

Cameron White
Age 24 years 186 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Legbreak googly

Chennai Squad

MS Dhoni
Age 26 years 228 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm medium

Stephen Fleming
Age 34 years 325 days
Playing role Higher middle order batsmanBatting Left-hand bat

Matthew Hayden
Age 36 years 114 days
Playing role Opening batsmanBatting Left-hand batBowling Right-arm medium

Michael Hussey
Age 32 years 269 days
Playing role Opening batsmanBatting Left-hand batBowling Right-arm medium

Joginder Sharma
Age 24 years 120 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm fast-medium

Albie Morkel
Age 26 years 255 days
Batting Left-hand batBowling Right-arm medium-fast

Muttiah Muralitharan
Age 35 years 309 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm offbreak

Makhaya Ntini
Age 30 years 229 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm fast

Jacob Oram
Age 29 years 207 days
Playing role All-rounderBatting Left-hand batBowling Right-arm fast-medium

Parthiv PatelWicketkeeper
Age 22 years 348 days
Batting Left-hand bat

Suresh Raina
Age 21 years 85 days
Batting Left-hand batBowling Right-arm offbreak

Delhi Squad

AB de Villiers
Age 24 years 3 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm medium

Tillakaratne Dilshan
Age 31 years 129 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm offbreak

Gautam Gambhir
Age 26 years 129 days
Batting Left-hand batBowling Legbreak

Dinesh Karthik
Age 22 years 264 days
Batting Right-hand bat

Glenn McGrath
Age 38 years 11 days
Playing role BowlerBatting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm fast-medium

Farveez Maharoof
Age 23 years 166 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm fast-medium

Mohammad Asif
Age 25 years 62 days
Playing role BowlerBatting Left-hand batBowling Right-arm fast-medium

Virender Sehwag
Age 29 years 123 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm offbreak

Shoaib Malik
Age 26 years 19 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm offbreak

Manoj Tiwary
Age 22 years 98 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Legbreak googly

Daniel Vettori
Age 29 years 24 days
Playing role BowlerBatting Left-hand batBowling Slow left-arm orthodox

Greg ShipperdCoach
Age 51 years 99 days
Batting Right-

Hyderabad Squad

Herschelle Gibbs
Age 33 years 362 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm bowler

Adam GilchristWicketkeeper
Age 36 years 98 days
Playing role Wicketkeeper batsmanBatting Left-hand batBowling Right-arm offbreak

VVS Laxman
Age 33 years 111 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm offbreak

Shahid Afridi
Age 27 years 356 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm medium, Legbreak googly

Rohit Sharma
Age 20 years 296 days
Playing role All-rounderBatting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm offbreak

Chamara Silva
Age 28 years 68 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Legbreak

Rudra Pratap Singh
Age 22 years 76 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Left-arm fast-medium

Scott Styris
Age 32 years 225 days
Playing role All-rounderBatting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm medium

Andrew Symonds
Age 32 years 256 days
Playing role All-rounderBatting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm medium, Right-arm offbreak

Chaminda Vaas
Age 34 years 24 days
Batting Left-hand batBowling Left-arm fast-medium

Nuwan Zoysa
Age 29 years 283 days
Batting Left-hand batBowling Left-arm fast-medium

Jaipur Squad

Mohammad Kaif
Age 27 years 81 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm offbreak

Kamran Akmal
Age 26 years 38 days
Batting Right-hand bat

Justin Langer
Age 37 years 91 days
Playing role Opening batsmanBatting Left-hand batBowling Right-arm medium

Munaf Patel
Age 24 years 223 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm medium-fast

Yusuf Pathan
Age 25 years 95 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm offbreak

Graeme Smith
Age 27 years 19 days
Batting Left-hand batBowling Right-arm offbreak

Shane Warne
Age 38 years 160 days
Playing role BowlerBatting Right-hand batBowling Legbreak googly

Younis Khan
Age 30 years 83 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm medium, Legbreak

Kolkata Squad

Ajit Agarkar
Age 30 years 78 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm fast-medium

Sourav Ganguly
Age 35 years 227 days
Batting Left-hand batBowling Right-arm medium

Chris Gayle
Age 28 years 152 days
Playing role BatsmanBatting Left-hand batBowling Right-arm offbreak

David Hussey
Age 30 years 220 days
Playing role Lower middle order batsmanBatting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm offbreak

Murali Kartik
Age 31 years 162 days
Batting Left-hand batBowling Slow left-arm orthodox

Brendon McCullumWicketkeeper
Age 26 years 146 days
Playing role Wicketkeeper batsmanBatting Right-hand bat

Ricky Ponting
Age 33 years 63 days
Playing role Higher middle order batsmanBatting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm medium

Ishant Sharma
Age 19 years 171 days
Playing role BowlerBatting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm fast-medium

Shoaib Akhtar
Age 32 years 191 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm fast

Umar Gul
Age 23 years 312 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm fast-medium

John BuchananCoach
Age 54 years 321 days
Playing role BatsmanBatting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm medium

Mohali Squad

Mahela Jayawardene
Age 30 years 269 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm medium

Simon Katich
Age 32 years 183 days
Playing role BatsmanBatting Left-hand batBowling Slow left-arm chinaman

Brett Lee
Age 31 years 104 days
Playing role BowlerBatting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm fast

Irfan Pathan
Age 23 years 116 days
Batting Left-hand batBowling Left-arm medium-fast

Piyush Chawla
Age 19 years 58 days
Playing role All-rounderBatting Left-hand batBowling Legbreak

Ramesh Powar
Age 29 years 276 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm offbreak

Kumar Sangakkara
Age 30 years 116 days
Batting Left-hand batBowling Right-arm offbreak

Ramnaresh Sarwan
Age 27 years 242 days
Playing role BatsmanBatting Right-hand batBowling Legbreak

Sreesanth
Age 25 years 14 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm fast-medium

Yuvraj Singh
Age 26 years 70 days
Batting Left-hand batBowling Slow left-arm orthodox

Tom MoodyCoach
Age 42 years 141 days
Playing role Higher middle order batsmanBatting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm medium

Mumbai Squad

Loots Bosman
Age 30 years 312 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm medium

Dilhara Fernando
Age 28 years 216 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm fast-medium

Harbhajan Singh
Age 27 years 232 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm offbreak

Sanath Jayasuriya
Age 38 years 235 days
Batting Left-hand batBowling Slow left-arm orthodox

Lasith Malinga
Age 24 years 176 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm fast

Shaun Pollock
Age 34 years 219 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm fast-medium

Sachin Tendulkar
Age 34 years 302 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm offbreak, Legbreak googly

Robin Uthappa
Age 22 years 101 days
Batting Right-hand batBowling Right-arm medium

-GAG
Data sources www.cricinfo.com

From Hibernation...

Certainly,not a good Experience.

Was all excited to move to one of the largest and most sophisticated workplace in the country…..? Naah…Atleast not me, don’t really know about the others.

A few days back I had the leisure of traveling on my own and on my own terms, but for the past few days I have been made to wake up quite early just to catch the bus which would take me to my work place to earn my bread. Know what, it’s a real pain…but got no other choice….as of now.

My new office is at Siruseri and its located at a distance of 30 kms from my home and it takes round about 1 hr 10 mins to reach it in the morning and it takes about 10-20 minutes more in the evening...reason being the roads are pretty bad in shape. I really don’t understand what our TN government is doing for past few years. I believe the politicians have never been to this part of the city and have been accustomed to travel on the really excellent roads near the Beach Road. It would be pleasant experience for them if they have their office’s shifted to this part of the city.

The road which leads to my office is a stretch of 20 kms, which has numerous top IT companies of India, but still the roads are pathetic. The companies could aswell spend a few penny and resurrect these pitiable roads for the wellbeing of there employee’s.

My new work place is a beautifully architected place, no complaints on that but it would have been just perfect for us employees had the roads been a bit better…..”Is any body listening?”

If you want me to explain the ride it’s like the driver has to maneuver his way between the pot-holes and if they succeed on that there are abundance of Cows and Buffalo standing on the middle of the road scattered in such a way the drivers are given a real hard time. These drivers could have a real good career had they been into F1 or any other motor sport.

To add to misery, had a salary cut as the company did not achieve its target in Q3 but we still recruit thousands without work and see them have fun….pathetic policies. It definitely hurts when we have workers slogging day in-day out to deliver and at the end of the month we get a letter saying some crap.I was amazed to see that there was no opposition .

Wake up guys.......

-GAG

Saurav Hamara Gaurav......!

Bengal-uru, I didn’t know had so many fans of DADA and I must commend the audience out there, they really were lively and the atmosphere in the stadium was truly electric. Also would like to mention that the banners and posters on display were really innovative and I was just waiting to see the next ones….Just would like to say that Keep up the good work Bangalore.

Coming to the match between India–Pakistan played at the MA Chinnaswamy Stadium Bangalore, I would like to let the readers know that I am known to like the hated…and for this reason I break all rules and back them, Saurav Ganguly was/is one amongst them. Today, I am proud of myself that I backed DADA.

During the Chappell Era.... 2005-2006

I would not like to get into details of his achievements and his work of the past for the simple reason that I believe he is the greatest leader of modern era or for that matter any age India has produced. Besides I have done that in many of my previous articles, so really don’t want to get into the details of it all over again.

This one is merely to Congratulate Dada on scoring your maiden test double ton….I am proud of you DADA.

class is permanent....and now...2007

The Bengal Tiger kept roaring and will continue to do so…..

-GAG

Ham Shanti Ham... A Review

All the excitement of this SRK flick and it was apparently the most eagerly awaited movie of the season…but sorry to say that the movie didn't live up to my expectations.

"Picture abhi baki hai mere dost…!" is the tagline of the movie Om Shanti Om and I, as a viewer was just hoping when this ordeal would get over.

The movie begins impressively with the yesteryear star Rishi Kapoor dancing on the tunes of the song "Meri Umar Ke Naujawano…Dil Na laga Na Oh deewano…", and in-between the song SRK the male protagonist of the movie as Om replaces him and starts of jumping and running ala Rishi Kapoor…but I am afraid comes no where close to what Rishi had done.

The story (if any exist) is quite simple and is based on Re-Incarnation.

Om, the struggling actor (naah…Ham-er) falls in love with the superstar Shantipriya played by the Deepika Padukone.Let me say it again, she is just gorgeous. Let me also add that she is quite talented of whatever I got to see in this film, but I am sorry to say that SRK and Farah Khan have utterly wasted her talent. Her role doesn't have any kind of soul in the movie.

So back to the story, Om dies in trying to save Shantipriya, who is burnt alive by Arjun Rampal, the villain. Infact they both die in a fire before the interval of the movie.

First half ends here, Om and Shanti are burnt to death….!

Second half…year 2007…SRK is back as Om again. He is a superstar's (Rajesh Khanna, played by a duplicate of RK) kid and eventually becomes a superstar himself in this period with a six-pack-abs and is afraid of fire for known reasons. He begins remembering his past life as and stuff that has happened.

Om after bagging the award, gives a speech which takes him back to his previous life. He now decides to take revenge on Arjun and to make the movie Om Shanti Om again, which was to be made with Shantipriya 30 years ago. He decides to find a heroine who would look similar to Shanti…and guess what; he finds an exact replica.Again Deepika looks stunning and lovely.

Beauty...

Om after winning the best actor award at the 2007 FilmFare award function hosts a party .For me this party is the highlight of the movie as it has 31 bollywood stars dancing along with SRK.

and the beasts...

Every things falls in place in the climax and as expected Om manages to get rid of the villain with the help of Sandy, the new Deepika.Infact Shantipriya’s BHOOT too helps them in their revenge. Wao…! what a story.The hype...the hysteria created before the release of the movie was tremendous, but the end result was pathetic to say the least.

Some positives of the movie are the songs which are pretty good…I would like to mention that the song "Main Agar Kahoon…" is my favorite sung by Sonu Nigam.

And yeah i watched Om Shanti Om,First Day First Show.It is believed that if SRK runs in his movies,the movie does run to packed houses...lets wait and watch and observe how the public responds to SRK's latest offering.

-GAG

Split-Ends

Deepika Padukone is the next big thing in the country and several gentlemen want to have a link-up with this long legged beauty and the latest of the lot is our Indian Cricket Captain, MS Dhoni. In fact more than he expressing his desire to be with this beauty, our media has taken up all the pain to unite this couple. The scene is such that every channel is keeping a close watch on their activities. It was the occasion of the T20 match at the Braboune Stadium in Mumbai and it was reported that Mahi has requested Deepika to be present at the match.

Deepika did turn up for the match with SRK, who had come with his family for the game.

Scene 1:

Cam on Deepika, She is smiling...The news waalah’s …comment “Yeh Smile kis ke liya tha…aap SMS ke zariye zaroor bataiyee…”

Aapke options hain….

1. MS Dhoni
2. She remembers a Joke
3. British Bull Dog, who cares…!

Scene 2:

India require 5 to win the match, MSD on strike and Brett Lee charges ,bowls a long-hop which MSD pulls it over the square-leg fence for a Six. India Win…..But another interesting question by our media….”Yeh Chakah kis ke liye tha….aap SMS karke zaroor bataiyee….” Here we go again….WTF is happening is beyond my imagination.

This is actually is period of break-ups which further leads to many more link-ups…

It was Bipasha’s alleged break up with John because of the Manchester United winger doing something naughty....

As the split was confirmed…and Ronaldo who I thought would have had better options available, Bips might have felt she needs a superstar and hence went into hunt and found Mr.Saif Ali Khan, the most eligible of the current lot, although not reliable. It was reported that these two have started dating and in the meanwhile John was linked with Vidya Balan, but then Vidya always maintained that they were just “good-friends” and it was reported in media that Mr. Not Dependable (Saif) was now interested in the Kapoor babe, I mean Shahid’s chick…because Shahid was getting too close to Vidya and was not anymore interested in Kareena.

Now it is confirmed that Saif and Kareena are dating and are very much together. Why has Kareena fallen for Saif, whose track record of his past relationships has not been that impressive. I guess she would have compared the hit rates of Jr.Patudi and Shahid and I believe Saif is far more saleable in the industry than the Shahid-the kid. If that’s what Kareena is looking out for then …all the best to her and her new association

Now things are a bit clear…as of now Shahid is with Vidya, Saif is with Kareena and Bips is back with John…uff what confusion.

What would happen to our cricket captain…time and of course the polls would tell.

-GAG

Touch Kiyeejaa...

Another season and yet another series of salsa, disco, rumba, tango etc…on the idiot box and in addition to all these we have these non-dancers begging for our SMS . I really don't believe if any sane person would send those SMS's (barring the family of the contestants). Can't really comment on the Morons and Jerk community. So, I in actual fact don't know how these programs do last seasons after season.

One more thing which absolutely baffles me is the fact that what do these channels achieve in making these TV actors (non) dance and compete against themselves? First of all it's difficult to handle them in these f*** all serials and then to see them again for three hours on a weekend is an absolute scare…I envy people who are not forced to watch these morons.

Some contestants are tolerable just for the sake of the entertainment they provide, would like to mention Cyrus Broacha(who does disco in a cow-boy outfit) in this league but in general most of these competitors are very non-talented, most of them unquestionably have two left feet.

Cyrus doing what he doesn’t do best

The audiences, absolutely glued to the TV watching the incapable TV artiste compete against each other. I would like to also mention the fact that these shows do not showcase any talent, its just a bit of skin show which goes on...On prime time and on family channels.

There was this episode in one of the shows, the theme being Touch, where the couples were told to be in-touch with each other through out their act. I don't believe the amount of obscenity that was on display and parents have no other option (of their own will) to watch any thing else or some rather do not intend to watch any thing else.

Some of the jerks are like...I mean what do I say?

There is this Pooja Bedi (D/O, Kabir Bedi), who comes along with a guy (her partner) who looks and is half her age…and the judges (another set of three morons) talk about the chemistry between them is absolutely marvelous and that kind of bull-shit…Pooja would be saying to her self it is not the chemistry that attracts us…its for the biological reasons we are together….

Then of course how can we have a show with out the most beautiful eunuch (probably not...Bobby Darling might be in contention for that, for people who don't know him/her ...Please visit www.google.com ) in the country Rakhi Sawant….and her partner…gosh! How does that dude tolerate her, he should be awarded for that.

Some decent performers being Sudha Chandran, who gets accolades for all her performances, one mention of Mika (bro or Daler Mehndi) who I believe speaks his mind irrespective of the consequences. He openly says I cannot dance on the f*** all tunes, play me bhangra and then see me in my rhythm.

One mention of one of the judge, who has been a choreographer in bollywood and must have lived in Mumbai for years wants the audience to believe that he can not speak Hindi and feels prod of it.

Can say these crappy shows are by the cleverest for the jerks and performed by a few retard morons

-GAG